The Other Side of the Story

Yesterday was a bad day.  Like the kind of day that makes you question what exactly you are doing with your life.  It wasn't the kids that set me off or this country, but a feeling of complete isolation and loneliness.

I fully expected to be frustrated, upset, in love with this place and in awe all at the same time. Anyone that moves to a new location, whether abroad or to a new town usually experiences a full range of emotions.  I remember when we first moved to Thailand and I didn't even have a bike and I felt like I was totally stuck.  It was too hot to walk anywhere and I had 3 littles under 6, so that made walking anywhere even more difficult.  I was frustrated, felt completely alone, and would go days without even talking with another adult.  I hated it. I ended my time in Thailand with an amazing group of friends.  The boys had friends they could play with everyday in our neighborhood.  I could hop on my motorbike and take the kids to a coffee shop or out to lunch when we needed a break.  My life was full, we were all happy, I really could not have asked for a better time in my life.

After a month in Chile, I have been transported right back to my first year in Thailand.  I don't really know anyone and don't really have anyway to meet anyone.  I don't have a phone, a car, a bike, any transportation and the boys have not really had a chance to make any friends.  And you know what?  I hate it.  I'm angry we moved.  I'm missing the amazing support system I had in Thailand.  There is no place within walking distance that the boys and I can go to escape our house.  I'm frustrated and lonely.

I'm not posting this for sympathy or a pat on the back, but posting to show the full range of the life we have chosen.  I post these beautiful pictures from amazing places we have been and it may seem like we are all very happy and enjoying our new home.  I wanted to make sure that I kept it real because so often we only see one side of the story.  The side that looks good to everyone.  We don't see the difficult side of the story.

I do see a glimmer of hope that has been pulling me through my current set of frustrations.  I see us 3,4,5 years down the road here and I see us happy, fulfilled, and complete.  It took me 5 years to build the community I had in Thailand.  It was a lot of work and took a lot of time.  It was so many playdates and uncomfortable situations.  It was pushing and stretching myself to get out there and meet people when all I wanted to do was stay home.  It was meeting so many people and waiting to find the ones we connected with and friends that were positive influences for the boys.

 I know all of this can be possible here in Chile too.  It's going to take a lot of time.  There will be lots of outbursts and temper tantrums, mostly from me.  :)  But we will get there little by little.

I saw this posted today and I am going to try and make today a better day by remembering this.