It has been a long time since I last posted, but there is good reason. I just couldn't find anything to post about. Sure, we were doing things and celebrating holidays, but I was depressed. I didn't want to get off of the couch, leave the house, or really see anyone. This is not where I wanted to be. Here is an unpublished post I wrote back at our 3 month mark.
Oh friends, I must sound like a complete basket case. I am on an emotional roller coaster. I go from fine to grumpy in a matter of minutes. I know we chose this lifestyle, but it doesn't make the move any easier, even if I knew what to expect.
We have been living in Chile for 3 months now and to be honest not much has changed since we first got here. I still don't drive. I have an irrational fear of driving in another country. This makes it difficult for me and the boys because we are stuck at home everyday. I still don't know too many people. This is mostly my fault as I'm not really putting myself out there. The boys don't really have any friends. Again, this is my fault as I should be working harder to find connections for them. I am still grieving for my life in Thailand and hoping the pain of leaving there will start to lessen. I'm realizing I'm now 5 years removed from the life I had in the United States and that makes it difficult for me to feel like I fit in there. So talking to anyone from back home about my feelings is really out of the question. It's all confusing and frustrating.
Things that have changed in the past 3 months:
Our house is feeling more like a home. I will have to post photos of our house once I actually have it picked up and presentable. I really like our house and I love the views from every window of our house. We have made our first connection with a few homeschoolers in the area. There are not many older homeschooling kids in Santiago, so we are just hoping to find a few great families around the boy's ages. It's warming up, so we are able to be outside and enjoy our beautiful back patio. The boys have even had school outside a couples days this week. I can order my groceries and have them delivered, which has been a huge time saver and really just makes us all happier. We visited the weekend market to get our produce and really liked it. I finally have a phone number! We had our security system installed. I can leave my back door open (we don't have screens) and the dog doesn't come running in.
So, while it feels like we are all sitting in limbo, hoping to have a happier life, I guess when I see the changes on paper I realize that it will just take time. Things are changing, just not as quickly as I would like them to. We will find our happy place. I'm hoping we find our happy place this weekend on our first trip to the beach. We need a change of scenery and need to start exploring our new home. I think that will help us feel a little more at peace and not feel so stir crazy. Hopefully, next week I will have a whole new happy post about the beach.
Thank you to my friends and family all over the world, who support us and continue to send love our way. As I have said before, you really are the best!
Well, we never made it on that beach trip due to sick kids and I kept on hating it here until just a few weeks ago. We had friends come and spend a week with us over Christmas and it was so good for all of us. Being good hosts, we had to get out of the house and show them around Santiago and other parts of Chile. And while we were showing them Chile, we started to see what this country has to offer.
After they left, the older two boy went to summer camp for a week and started making friends. Happiness has started so seep back into our lives and we are getting out of the funk we had been living in for the past 6 months. I plan to start sharing what our first three holidays were like in Chile and also some of the great places we have been visiting. I am already planning our trip for next summer! This country really is beautiful. While we still have a long way to go, I am glad we can finally say some positive things about Chile.
(Oh, and I still don't drive!!)
No comments :
Post a Comment