Homeschooling Part 2: The Pros and Cons to Homeschooling

The other day the boys and I were talking about how most brothers and sisters do not get to spend all day together.  I explained that most families only get to see each other at night and on the weekends.  I watched their little faces try to process that scenario.  They could not wrap their minds around it.  My boys do not know any differently.  This is the only schooling they have ever had.  After having this conversation it made me start to think about some of the unexpected pros and cons we have encountered with homeschooling.

The Pros:  

The boys are so close:  They like to call each other "frienemies", but honestly they are best friends. Sure, they have their share of fighting during the day, but they stay up laughing and giggling when we put them to bed.  They ask where the other one is right when they wake up in the morning.  My boys are building great relationships with each other and I hope they remain great friends as they grow up.

Ask loads of questions: The boy's Mandarin teacher commented on how many questions the boys ask during their lesson.  She was not used to that, mostly because when you have a class of 30 kids you do not have the time to answer that many questions.  The boys are able to ask questions, dig deeper into a topic without being rushed, and try to fully understand a topic before we move on to the next subject.

Learning is a whole day experience:  We can start our day whenever we get around to it.  No rushing through breakfast or yelling at the kids to hurry up and get dressed.  The boys are able to sleep in as long as they would like and are also able to stay up a little later and hang out with their dad instead of only seeing him for a couple hours in the evening.  We can have some school in the morning and if we don't finish before after school activities, we can complete our lessons after dinner. We often have lessons on the weekends if we were unable to get through the whole list for the week.  It is a pretty relaxed day.

Working on some math with their dad in the evening

The kids get to be kids: Schools today put so much pressure on kids at such an early age to get ready for standardized testing.  My boys have only taken a couple of tests and they usually do not realize they have even taken a test.  We never make it a big deal and usually they do not even study for them.  They either know it or don't know it.  So, they just get the luxury of enjoying school instead of being stressed out.  They don't have homework, because I know what they learned during the day and if they can tell their dad what they learned during our dinner, than I know we can move on.

We know their friends really well: Some may think this is a negative, but the kids really only interact with other kids in the afternoon.  Usually they are at our house playing soccer or riding bikes, but sometimes they play at the playground at school.  We know who they are interacting with. We know all of their friends parents and what their family life is like.  This is not to be too controlling of them, but when I am at the school playground and hear or see what other kids are doing, I am usually shocked.  I do not want my boys to talk or act that way.  I am really happy we know who the boys are playing with.  There is plenty of time for them to grow up, but for now I am happy to just let them be kids.

We get to spend the day with our kids: Sounds a little funny, but it's great being able to spend the day with the boys.  I love being able to cuddle on the couch and read together.  We cook together, share special moments together, and I get to see the learning process take place.  We also get to take special days off just because or for rewards whenever we feel like we need it.  (Although, today was a tough day. It did not go as planned and there was a lot of frustration and arguing.   Not everyday is perfect and peaceful and those tough days can really be trying on your attitude about homeschooling.)

The Cons:

Hard to turn off teacher mode: I would be lying if I said there were no negatives to homeschooling. I was surprised that I had a hard time distinguishing when I was being their teacher and when I was being their mom. This is a huge one for me.  I feel like when we have completed our "school day" I should be done teaching too.  I have already spent all day with the boys and I have used up a lot of my energy.  I need a little down time.  But this is the time when the boys usually want to play and I find myself saying no a lot. I am tired.  I am really trying to work on having fun with the boys and not always being in teacher mode.    This is a work in progress for me.

Kids are always with you: My homeschool experience in Thailand has not been the easiest.  We are the only homeschoolers I know.  We do not have any family around to take the boys from us.  So without a homeschool community or family, the kids are with us a lot.  Now, I love spending time with my kids, but I do need a break here and there.  We have worked on getting the kids involved in extracurricular activities and getting them together with friends, but I am still always there.  This can really wear me down and then I find this is when I usually am not being the best mom or teacher that I could be.  This is also a work in progress.  I am trying to find the best routine for the boys and myself to have a little time apart. We all need that. I wrote a post about losing myself a little while back that goes a little more in detail about how I am trying to work on this.

Never get a day or night off: So, along with always being together there is the problem of always being at work.  I cannot separate my work and my home life because they are so intertwined.  I find myself teaching all day, then off to afterschool activities, back for dinner,  showers and bedtime, and then I am back in the schoolroom working until 10 or 11 on lesson plans.  This can really cause burnout.  I am not allowed to burnout because my kids need me.  I am their only teacher and I can't call a sub, so I have been planning out a work schedule for me. I need a designated time to work and I need time off.  This is hard when my "office" is just in the other room.

Pressure to get your kids at a high level at an early age: This one is not a major concern of mine, but it is always in the back of my head.  I do not want my kids to be average.  Many times when people hear that we homeschool they want to know what the boys are doing or what level they are at. It's like a little test to make sure we are actually learning during the day.  I don't want spectators to see one of the boys struggling in a subject and say, "See, they really should be in school."  I feel the need to prove that we are just fine and that the boys are progressing beautifully.  I know out of all the cons, this one is just plain silly, but it is one I have dealt with.

Do you have any pros or cons to add to the list?  I would love to hear them!